Sweating My Bolas Off in Buenos Aires

23 Dec

“Good Airs” my ass. I’m shvitzing over here and the oscillating fan on setting 3 is not cutting it. It’s December 22nd and we’re one day deep into official summer, the perfect time for a rant about the heat in this city of fury. Air conditioning is a wonderful invention, but it can only take you from 9 am to 6:30 pm sometimes, and in the hours that you don’t spend at work, you find yourself looking for excuses to keep walking back into Farmacity. “Oh right, that’s where the Q-tips are. Exactly where they were 10 minutes ago. When I run out of the 500 I already have in about 4 months I’ll find these babies in no time.”

It’s not so much that I’m sweating my balls off (or is it ass off?), but it’s the feeling that my skin is a layer of rubber clothing which I can’t take off. Winter is terrible in my book, but the one advantage is that you can add as many layers as you can find and hug people to get back to normal status. But summer without AC leaves you clawing at your body as mosquitoes zero in for the kill. That reminds me, I need to put more mosquito “tabletas” in the electrical socket before going to bed. Lifesavers, those things are.

The elders had the sense to realize that heat rises, and it shows in the older buildings in San Telmo, La Boca, etc. But newer apartments with more modern styles took advantage of a need for more than 3 floors, cutting down on useless ceiling space. This causes us modern day folk to feel the heat as it rises, then feel it again as it bounces off the lights and back down to meet up with more heat which was already rising, creating a perfect storm of pit stains and damp chest hair.

I guess this brings me to tonight’s point. Those of you back home who are currently freezing and cursing the snow and wind–I feel your pain. While you were all living it up in July and I had to suffer while seeing your Facebook statuses about being at the beach and blah blah blah, we here in Argentina were shivering and saying, “Shit, when is it going to be warm already?” Well the tables have turned, but something tells me that we too will see our golden age fall one day, so don’t feel too bad that I’m already sweating as I walk into the office at 9 am. Buenos Aires is just too humid. I’m gonna go stick my head in front of the fan.

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